In Favor of Detachment

Detachment--state of being detached or disconnected; aloofness.

I am a study in contrast. A deeply compassionate man who is utterly detached. I care deeply about family and the few friends I have yet I never allow myself to get consumed by other people's problems. It's a confusing combination. That sense of detachment has protected me from many bad influences in life. It has fostered the development of an original spirit, with the strength of character to do what works for me without that nagging fear of wondering what others think. Achieving such freedom of thought is rare and I am grateful for it. I cherish my objectivity, that ability to think clearly and logically through a problem. I am also aware of the drawbacks of being so detached. Many people are unwilling to look beyond the surface and because of that, form erroneous impressions about me. Some of the insults that have been hurled at me over the years do sting but I do my best to ignore them. I am aware of the impression I leave on most people and I am okay with that. Of course, I am willing to compromise, to do what is necessary to get along but I am fundamentally comfortable with myself. I like who I am. I am of the opinion that...my ways, my actions or style isn't for everybody. I am blunt, honest to a fault, outspoken and unthinking when I speak. Yet I believe that those are virtues for people that understand why I am that way. It is because I care. If I didn't care deeply about you, then I would simply keep my mouth shut. But I carry it too far. My sense of detachment makes me seem almost...inhuman at times. It puts people off. And I don't know how to demonstrate that I do care...at least, demonstrate it in ways that doesn't get people angry at me. It has isolated me, making me even more socially awkward than I already am. It's easier for me to live in an interior world, a life of the mind rather than opening up or allowing myself to be vulnerable to anyone. My sense of detachment has granted me a lot of wisdom and cost me a lot in social terms. We as a species have a need to connect with one another on a deeper, emotional level and my sense of detachment has gotten in the way of my ability to forge those connections. Sometimes, I don't even know if I wish to forge them...or even if I have the ability to. And yet, I wouldn't change a thing about how I've lived my life to date or about any decisions I've made. For, as much trouble as this detachment has gotten me into, I don't think it has hurt me as much as it's helped.