Aguantando

You wanna know what it means, look it up. Anyway, I've always at least made the attempt to do the right thing in my life. I'm a massage therapist so I spend most of my time trying trying to help people feel better. I'm a Jehovah's Witness so I spend the time when I'm not working preaching the word of Jehovah God. I'm an honest man.I'm not immoral, I treat everyone with dignity and respect, I pay my bills and taxes, help my parents financially. I love my little nephews and send them little toys in the mail from time to time. I'm a quiet, God fearing young man trying to make my way in life with as few problems as I can manage. I'm your quintessential good guy. What happens to the good guy? In my case, he gets ignored, rejected by the ladies perpetually mistreated and screwed out out of what I deserve most of the time. And as I get older, it gets harder and harder for me to do what I know is right. I feel that darkness getting a little stronger every day, influencing my behavior. I never had much patience to begin with and now I go off on people more than I did before. I'm starting not to care about others. I'm becoming much more selfish, cynical and angry. I don't like this person that's starting to emerge. Now your question is "With all this stuff coming at you Edwin, why are you still trying to do the right thing? Why not just chuck it all?" My answer, my only answer is that someone has to preserve honor, decency, integrity, respect, all those fine qualities that people now seem to have given up on. I think that people like me, people trying to do right are seen as a threat and the world tries to break down our spirit. I just have this to say: I won't break. I have too much self-respect to let this world get to me. if that makes me sound like a martyr, then I'm a martyr. I'm going to continue living my life right. Giving up just isn't an option. Not for me.